Brooke Mueller: Rehab By Day, Mom By Night!

It's not exactly conventional, but Brooke Mueller's arrangement - drug rehab during the day and taking care of her kids at night - does the job.
At least a judge felt that way when denying Charlie Sheen's bid for full custody of their children and leaving their custody agreement in place.
The custody judge ruled she's still able to take care of her twins per the deal struck with Sheen - with help from an army of nannies, of course.

The judge did make one change in the agreement. Both Brooke and Charlie must submit to random drug testing weekly, more frequently than before.
Also factoring into the decision not to award full custody to Sheen? The fact that we're talking about Charlie Sheen here. Brooke has a lot of leeway.
Judge Hank Goldberg was well aware Brooke had relapsed, but was equally disturbed by Charlie's drug abuse and the fact that he brags about it.
Goldberg also felt Charlie's parenting skills - or lack thereof - did not warrant a change. Brooke's lawyers raised issues of domestic violence, too.
From what we can tell, no new allegations were made against the actor, although you don't have to look too far back in order to find some.

Charlie Sheen Bid For Custody: Rejected!

Charlie Sheen was shot down this afternoon in his legal bid to gain custody of sons Bob and Max away from strung-out ex-wife Brooke Mueller.
A judge ordered their custody pact to remain as is.
Everything will stay the same, despite Brooke's recent issues, so the custody agreement Charlie and Brooke recently agreed on won't change.

Brooke Mueller is believed to have fallen off the wagon in a big way last week, turning up at a pawn shop and then going MIA for several days.
Because the media was thrown out of the courtroom, it's unclear why the judge was not inclined to strip Brooke of custody based on her antics.
Amazingly, Brooke and Charlie both showed up in person.
The judge wanted the media gone from the room due to sensitive "questions of abuse" in the case, but it's not clear who accused who of what.
For now, in any case, it's status quo for Brooke and Charlie. Status crazy may be more appropriate. Hopefully Bob and Max are safe ...
[Photos: WENN.com]

Denise Richards to Charlie Sheen: Let Me Help!

Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen have had plenty of differences, but compared to the drama between Sheen and Brooke Mueller, the two are downright cozy.
That's why, in the wake of Brooke spiraling so out of control, Denise reached out to Charlie and offered to take informal custody of his twins, Bob and Max.
Denise called Charlie right after the shocking story broke late last week that a likely strung out Brooke hit a pawn shop to hawk a watch and a stereo.

Sheen's previous ex-wife wants to help if she can.

Denise told Charlie it was apparent Brooke (now back in rehab) is off the rails and with Charlie on tour, she offered to take the kids until things stabilized.
Charlie and Denise also have two young daughters, Sam and Lola.
As for Charlie's reaction? He's had issues with Denise, like we said, but he didn't shut her down. He thanked her and told her, "I'll keep you posted."
Charlie's lawyer is going to court in an attempt to gain full custody from Brooke, whose mother has also offered to take the kids. Stay tuned ...

Bree Olson Takes Temporary Leave as Charlie Sheen Goddess

Bree Olson/Rachel Oberlin says that despite leaving Charlie Sheen's side for the second time in as many months, she's still one of the "goddesses."
It's just a temporary leave of absence to tend to a personal matter.
Bree returned home to Fort Wayne, Ind., for a court hearing stemming from a February arrest for DUI. That's it. She'll be back by his side soon.

Olson and marijuana magazine model Natalie "Natty" Kenly are accompanying Sheen on his "Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option" tour.
Having temporarily left Sheen once before, rumors began flying that Bree bolted from the Warlock for good this time. But she quickly debunked that.
"I am 100 percent still one of Charlie's goddesses," said Rachel Oberlin, whose "stage" name is Bree Olson, in case you were getting confused.
Glad all is well in the land of #winning. Amazingly, Sheen's odd setup with Olson and Kenly may be more stable for his kids than living with Brooke Mueller.

Charlie Sheen Declares Legal War on Brooke Mueller, Wants Full Custody of Bob and Max

In the wake of his former wife's recent troubles, Charlie Sheen is moving to gain full custody of his two children with Brooke Mueller, Bob and Max.
He's not stopping there, either. Charlie is declaring legal war on Brooke and will not only ask a judge for full custody, but to cut off child support.
Sheen has been paying her $55,000 per MONTH to support the twin sons, who were born after the couple's 2008 wedding (they split this winter).

Charlie's lawyer, Mark Gross, just gave Brooke Mueller's attorneys notice that he's going to court tomorrow to try to change the custody arrangement.
Gross says he'll ask the judge to strip Brooke of both legal and physical custody, on grounds that Brooke has relapsed and checked back into rehab.
If the judge does give Charlie full custody, Gross wants the judge to terminate his obligation to pay Brooke $55,000 a month in child support.
After all, she would no longer be incurring those expenses. Sheen (and presumably the goddesses) would be handling the parenting. Shudder.
Brooke's lawyers are planning their own offensive, though, also asking the judge for full custody. They also Charlie to be psychologically evaluated.
That sound you hear is of it being ON. And potentially high and unstable. Imagine if Charlie Sheen is deemed the safer of two parenting options ...

9/11 Conspiracy Theorists: Angry at Charlie Sheen

He's angered CBS employees, sitcom fans and women's rights group.
But Charlie Sheen is now facing the wrath of an unexpected enemy: The 9/11 Truth Movement.
A representative of that group - which alleges the World Trade Center attacks were initiated by the The United States - says he and his fellow conspiracy theorists are peeved that the actor is using his tour to prattle on about drug use, Denise Richards and other items that aren't related to Sheen's former claims about the buildings' collapse appearing to be a "controlled demolition."

Mark Dice says Sheen should be "asking hard questions about what happened on 9/11 and the resulting wars... not bragging about smoking crack and sleeping with hookers."
Dice has failed in his attempts to contact the star and adds that he and his group will protest Sheen's upcoming shows if the topic is not addressed.
So congratulations Mark Dice and The 9/11 Truth Movement. You've managed to make Charlie Sheen look sane.
[Photo: WENN.com]

Brooke Mueller Will NOT Take a Drug Test!

The troubled Brooke Mueller just refused to submit to a court-ordered drug test.
Anytime "refused" and "court-ordered" are in the same sentence? Not good.
Sources say Brooke has fallen off the wagon lately, culminating when she was spotted at a pawn shop Friday trying to hawk a watch and a stereo.
That would be sad enough, but under her custody settlement agreement with Charlie Sheen, Brooke Mueller is required to submit to drug testing.

Brooke in more sober times. Well, presumably.

A test was scheduled for 6 p.m. yesterday. The people came to her home with the test, but her lawyer, Ron Rale, told them she wasn't taking it.
It's unclear if Brooke was present at the time, or if she is still MIA. But either way, under the settlement, a refusal is considered a dirty test.
It's also unclear what Charlie and his lawyer will do now. But he's already warned her that you don't mess with a Warlock and expect to win.
The plan for Charlie, according to sources close to the situation, is to ask the court for the temporary custody of the boys if Mueller goes to rehab.
He's concerned for Brooke, but his first priority is the boys' safety. Can you imagine Charlie Sheen as the SAFER of two options? Actually possible!
Stay tuned to the second craziest celebrity news story of the weekend (the fight that got Nicolas Cage arrested takes the cake) as it unfolds ...

Charlie Sheen, Special Guests Rock NYC

Forget Carmelo Anthony. It turns out Charlie Sheen is the best rebounder in New York.
Following a disastrous performance at Radio City Music Hall Friday evening, the actor returned to the same venue on Saturday and told an enthusiastic crowd: "Friday night got a little f*cking hijacked because I let people get into my magic f**king brain."
Well, sure. That happens to all of us.

Sheen chucked his script from the outset and roamed around the audience a bit throughout the show. He also welcomed a pair of random, special guests on to the stage:

1. Former baseball player Darryl Strawberry.
2. Inside the Actors' Studio host James Lipton.

The latter even asked Charlie one of the questions he poses to guests at the conclusion of every episode: What's your favorite curse word? Sheen's response: "Either f*ck or Denise."
Okay. That's pretty funny.
Other tidbits from the night include:

• Sheen admitting Chuck Lorre "doesn't completely suck" and saying he wants to return to Two and a Half Men. Even claims he'll write the sitcom an apology.
• Sheen seeing an ex-girlfriend in the crowd and giving her a kiss.
• Sheen apologizing for every saying Jon Cryer was a troll.
• Sheen uttering these mysterious words near the end of the performance: "I discovered crack and the internet in the same weekend. Thanks, Al Gore."

Charlie Sheen: Big Failure in The Big Apple

Charlie Sheen took his live tour to Radio City Music Hall last night.
And while the reception was not nearly as vitriolic as the one he received while bombing in Detroit, fans didn't exactly give the actor a Cleveland-like standing ovation, either.

Taking the stage a few hours after allegedly sending Denise Richards a threatening email that said he'd continue to bash her unless she returned his canine, Sheen donned Yankee attire during his set and was greeted warmly at first.
But things quickly turned sour, as he referred to Richards as a "dognapper" and was booed when he said he had quit drugs. (Seriously, people?!?)
Aside from the usual drivel, Sheen did make news by actually inviting Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre to his next performance and making it clear he wants to return.
“Of course, I want my job back so you guys can keep watching the best f-cking sitcom in the world," he told the crowd, many of whom had already left at this point, the show ending 30 minutes prior to its original schedule.
We just wanna assure Charlie of one thing: he has nothing to worry about. We're gonna keep watching Modern Family no matter what he does.
[Photo: WENN.com]

Jay Mohr to Spoof Charlie Sheen on Law & Order

Charlie Sheen and his #winning ways are coming to a city near you. And also to Law & Order: Criminal Intent, when Jay Mohr channels the warlock.
According to Deadline, a classic ripped-from-the-headlines episode later this season will star Mohr as a Hollywood celebrity and bad boy, Nyle Brite.
A "rock star" whose every creation turns to gold, Nyle's penchant for cocaine binges and call girls only boosts his career and "lovable rogue" image:
Sounds eerily familiar ...

Eh, we can see Jay Mohr as a poor man's Charlie Sheen.

Basically, look for Law & Order's case of the week to be a hotel room bender ending with porn star the locked in closet, only Capri Anderson dies.
Sounds like a solid episode to us. In other Jay Mohr news, he's a trending topic on Twitter now. We thought April Fools Day was last Friday ...

Charlie Sheen Rocks in Cleveland

Charlie Sheen delivered a live performance in Cleveland last night that echoed that city's motto. Indeed, according to fans there, the actor rocks.
Following a disastrous opening night in Detroit, followed by an improved tour stop in Chicago, Sheen exited his most recent night on stage to a standing ovation.

Charlie Sheen Tour Clips

Among the highlights:

• The crowd going bonkers at the sight of Sheen in an Indians jersey.
• Sheen showing off merchandise that included a "SHEENIUS" shirt.
• The audience chanting "F-ck Detroit" and "F-ck that bitch!" regarding Denise Richards.
• Sheen taking questions from a moderator and those in attendance, some of whom heckled him, to which he again responded that they can leave because "I already got your money."
• Sheen going into detail about his stuttering problem as a child.
• The star saying he'd return to Two and a Half Men because he made them "five billion."
• A shout-out to his father and the movie Apocalypse Now.
• A closing of: "F*ck Milwaukee! We are filming Major League 3 here! Cleveland do u feel like you are winning? I love you all goodnight!"

Miley Cyrus and Charlie Sheen: Totes Twitter BFFs!!!

Miley Cyrus recently returned to Twitter for two reasons:

1. To connect with her fans
2. Charlie Sheen

It seems like the latter may have been the bigger catalyst, too:
"'Do not fear, he Sheenius is here!' I’m not gonna lie. I came back to twitter for 2 reasons,” she Tweeted. “My fans and to follow @charliesheen #winning.”

Charlie, who wasn't on Twitter himself until he went off the rails and got fired from Two and a Half Men, responded by welcoming Miley back with open arms!

“Dear Miley, Welcome back to Twitter!” Charlie Tweeted. “Always felt you were epic… Now you proved it! Thanks for the love! ybh c @gypsyhearttour”
The Chiley love fest didn’t end there, either. Not by any means.
“@charliesheen I always felt the same about you!” Miley wrote the space cadet. “You have taught me everything I know about WINNING. Duh!”
That's pretty sad if true. But we're glad she's back, happy.

Charlie Sheen Ticket Sales Tanking Hard

Charlie Sheen "plays" Cleveland tonight. Tickets are still available. A lot of them.

The first show of his Torpedo of Truth tour was such a historic debacle, a huge number of people dumped tickets to future dates onto the secondary market.

Also, a large number of tickets remain unsold at all, even after Sheen redeemed himself (sort of) with a better-received Chicago performance (below).

Sheen Live Tour - Torpedoes of Truth

According to online exchanges, the average ticket to Sheen’s upcoming Radio City Music Hall date went for between $125-$150 last week on its website.

Yesterday, that average sale price sank to $80. Today, $50. An Orchestra seat at Radio City can now be had for as little as $24, far, far below face value.

Not that Sheen likely cares.

“I already got your money, dude,” he told a Detroit fan who booed him. “You paid your hard-earned money without knowing what this show was about.”

At least fewer people will be making that mistake now.

Charlie Sheen Live in Chicago: Actually a Crowd-Pleaser?

Charlie Sheen performed, or did whatever it is Charlie Sheen does, in Chicago last night. Unlike his disastrous Detroit show, it was somewhat organized.

The audience actually seemed to respond positively to Sheen and the second leg of the "Violent Torpedoes of Truth / Defeat is Not an Option" tour, too.

Some of the highlights:

 
Sheen Live Tour - Torpedoes of Truth

• The crowd starting a "Detroit sucks!" chant, after which Charlie read a poem about how much he hates the city of Detroit. Obviously.
• An interviewer asking him questions, including about his marriages, during which Charlie called Brooke Mueller a "kidnapper bitch."
• Charlie trading shirts with a guy who told him to get naked.
• Charlie claiming he owes Heidi Fleiss $2 million dollars. 

• Charlie saying he was supposed to be in The Karate Kid, until his dad told him to do a lesser film instead. "My dad has great advice."
• Charlie saying he'd go back to Two and Half Men, but that those who run it are blood suckers (Jon Cryer is a "rock star" however).
• Charlie reflecting on various partying and rambling off topic a lot.
• Charlie reading a letter from one of the goddesses. See below.

Charlie Sheen Live in Chicago

And with that, the slow-moving train wreck that is Charlie Sheen has left the Windy City for its next destination. We can only sit back and watch.

Charlie Sheen in Detroit: An Absolute Disaster

Charlie Sheen kicked off his tour in Detroit tonight, and, the actor got violently torpedoed with boos from a crowd that left before the deranged act was finished.

The show started approximately 20 minutes late, as a random comedian came out and told jokes that made Two and a Half Men seem funny. A sample: "Shouldn’t they call the defibrillator a difibra-now?”

Movie clips then played around 9 p.m., two goddesses made out on stage and Sheen finally appeared. He stood behind a podium and said to the crowd: “I am finally here to identify and train the Vatican assassin locked inside each and every one of you.”

 
Charlie Sheen Monologue

That was pretty much the highlight of the evening.

Witnesses at the event said Sheen rambled on incoherently, at one point saying: "They took my awesome children... They took my sometimes bitchin job… And when they thought there was nothing left, they tried to take my titanium heart and brain and spine. But they could not.”

The audience grew restless, boos began to reign down and that's when the actor took to mocking those in attendance.

"I figured Detroit was a good place to tell some crack stories," he said. "I don’t do crack anymore, but this is a good f-cking night to do some crack.”

Many more boos ensued. Reports confirm people began to walk out around this time, to which Sheen taunted: “You paid your hard-earned money without knowing what this show was about.”

Around 10:20, the track Sheen recorded with Snoop Dogg was played. But Sheen had already left the stage and the rapper was nowhere in sight. Said one fan toEntertainment Weekly, after traveling from Toronto for the show:

“He’s making a fool of himself. Is there a bigger loser in the world? He’ll be [begging] Chuck Lorre for his job back by the end of the week.”

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller Finalize Custody Arrangement

Poor little Bob and Max now know with which troubled parent they'll be spending time over the next few months.
Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller hammered out their custody agreement in Los Angeles County Superior Court yesterday, finalizing the following details regarding these twins:

• Both parents much submit to random drug testing three times/month.
• A nanny must be present at all times, no matter who has custody.
• Sheen will watch the children every other weekend for two months; then every weekend for the next two months, culminating in even more time with them if he remains drug and alcohol free.
• Neither Brooke nor Charlie can be photographed with Bob, Max... and any romantic partner. Tough break for the goddesses.